Bucket List Item #3 - THE GIFT OF LIFE

I don't remember asking for any vacation days at work, but they were approved!  And since I have been praying and thinking about different "bucket list" activities, I figured this was God's way of giving me an opportunity to fly out to California to see the new one-of-a-kind Embryology Museum where Jacquelyn's body is displayed.  It's been 8 years.  And so I began planning..............

"I'm leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again!" was my facebook post!  After my planned trip to Loma Linda University Medical Center, I looked forward to visits with family members in southern California, and enjoying the nice weather.   

But one thing after the next kept coming up making planning the trip more difficult.  Ian leaves for a mission trip during that week.  Rory starts school.  

I spent a couple of days dealing with some fairly selfish thoughts, and then finally decided it was just not the right time.  My priorities are here.  I've traveled all over the world when I was younger, and so glad I had those opportunities.  And I will get to see Jacquelyn another time - when the time is right.  My children are growing into fine young men, they are still with me, and I need to take advantage of enjoying this time.  And perhaps..............finally make it "up north!"

This morning I was sad as I texted my cousins to let them know my visit must be canceled.  I just can't, financially, do it.....     And for a few hours, I was sad because I just really, really want to see where my daughter's body was moved to.  I want to SEE for myself where medical students study, and learn from her every day.  I want to walk through the halls where others will walk, who will learn about anencephaly, and other neural tube defects.  I want.  To.  See.  My.  Daughter.  I want to count her fingers and toes.  I want to see her.  I really, really do...........

And then, I read a short story on the internet about a young man who received a liver transplant from a girl who died recently.  Because of the extreme generosity, love, selflessness, courage, and bravery of her mother and father, despite the overwhelming sadness over the loss of their daughter, this young man just graduated from high school and now anxiously looks forward to college.  His mother - She is my friend.  And through her story, and her son's story, and all of her sharing and writing and blogging - I am comforted in seeing the happier side of those who live because of those who have not.  I get to share in her stories, the peace and comfort that comes from those who give generously - the very gift of life.  

I believe God is telling me my children are here, and they are alive.  Enjoy them.  The Museum is not going anywhere.  And Jacquelyn is running and playing and giggling in heaven.  My place is here.  

Visiting the Embryology Museum will now be postponed until "the right time" - that is, whenever God decides.  

And as for Bucket List Item #3 - I haven't a CLUE what it will be.  But the month isn't over yet and I have a feeling it will have something to do with giving  ................   And there are 22 days left of the month........

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy these days with my "young men" sons while they still live at home......

But I do want to encourage everyone to consider giving the gift of life..........

http://www.organdonor.gov/index.html

Here is the link to my friend Dawn's blog.......   

http://dawnglaser.wordpress.com/about/