Expecting........... The Unexpected

The waitress lead my friend and I to a booth near a window where we were looking forward to a nice dinner after a 12-hour shift at work.  We were tired and hungry.  But on the way to our table, I couldn't help but notice a woman who looked like she was about 8 months pregnant sitting in a booth by herself.  She made eye contact with no one.  Her hands were caressing her very pregnant belly, and she had the gaze of a first-time mother enjoying the feel of her child moving around inside of her, wondering what her baby would be like.  Who would he look like?  Would he have her eyes?  Dad's nose?  If it was a girl, would she have curly hair?  Long eye lashes?  What would he or she grow up to become?  Day dreaming about the first time she would hold her child in her arms.

I laughed silently to myself, because I thought........   She has nooooo ideaaaaa how much her life is getting ready to change.  

It literally feels just like yesterday that I was 8 months pregnant with Rory, standing in our laundry room, talking on the telephone with my friend Kim, and ironing football decals on little baby onsies for Rory - .  He is 21 now.  He wants to be a responsible adult, make his own decisions, be independent.  Where did the time go?  Why hadn't I thought this out while I was ironing decals on his onsies?  And never had it dawned on me when he was a cute little toddler, and I was the person who fixed every one of his boo-boo's, rocked him in my arms to sleep, cuddled him when he was sad, and could basically fix EVERYTHING for him, that it would all come to an end.  I did not anticipate the day when he would ask me for a couple of stamps, a ride home from his girlfriend's house, but in the same breath ask me to stay out of his business and allow him to be an adult..............

And Ian?  Well, it WAS just yesterday that I walked him to the bus stop where he had to be first in line, and put his toes right on the sidewalk line where he was told by the bus driver could not be crossed.  And when we run into each other in the halls of the hospital at work now, I can't help but remember how he would call home from school because he had a headache, when the truth was, he really was just lonesome.  I never "expected" him to sleep until noon, then quickly shower, and run out the door while yelling "Love you, Mum!" as he hurried off to be with anyone besides his mother..........   But that IS how things are now...

Would now be an appropriate time to say, "Time flies?"

If I only knew then, what I know now........    Would I change anything?  Nah.   I don't think I would have enjoyed them as much.  Part of the enjoyment and sheer joy of being a parent is not knowing what to expect.  

But still, it makes me chuckle as I look at young mothers and fathers.  I think to myself, "You are going to lose them at math in about 2nd grade.  And every time someone hurts your child's feelings in grade school, your heart is going to break.  The anxiety from teaching them how to drive is surely going to shave a decade from your life.  And if you thought you would never lay your head on the pillow the same way again after they were born, just wait until they get their license and take the car out.  You'll be the "bad guy" more often than not when you set limits.  Set them anyways.  And start saving for car insurance NOW."

After the chuckles, I grin and silently smile inside.  I reminisce and think - that sweet, caring child who always looked out for the child who felt left out - That's my son.  The one who the teachers always complimented for leadership skills and a sweet, caring heart.  The son who would go out of his way to include everyone.  How could I not know he would study to become a special education teacher someday?  

And my little rule-following Ian.....   Who gets angry if I roll through a stop sign.... I never dreamed he would grow up with a passion and a heart for justice, to want to see children and young girls trafficked for sex against their will rescued?   

So I look back to the days when I was ironing on football decals on baby clothes.  And I think about the woman in the restaurant enjoying the feel of life inside of her, day dreaming about her child she will meet soon.  Gives a whole new meaning to the term "expecting."   I never expected what I have, and I've no clue what to expect in the future.  And I think I like it that way............