Things that make you go, "Huh???"

In the past two weeks, I have had the strangest things said to me.  Things that make me go, "Huh?"  

Let's begin with the excitement over my son's recent engagement.  "I never imagined I would be so excited over this day!" I said, to which someone replied, "That's because it's been so long since you were in a relationship, so you don't understand."

Really?

Oh, and how about this one (the most ridiculous one) - "It's your own fault you have been so unsuccessful and are still single."

Again - Really?  I'm single, and therefore, I'm "unsuccessful?"

And then!  The sweet little neighborhood boy who rode up to me on his bike inquiring of me why he never sees a "husband" with me.  When I told him I didn't have one, he rode off and said that he hoped I found one.............   so that he could pay my bills!  HELLLLOOOOO!!!

But the icing on the cake was this question, "What I don't understand about you, Rita, is how can you be so happy, when you are so morbidly obese?"

I'm sorry.  What the heck is wrong with people?  I mean, sometimes, I just want to bang my head on a brick wall in frustration.

Let's get some things straight.  Okay?  First of all, I CHOSE to be single, and CONTINUE to choose to be single.  I LIKE it, being single.  And, I fully intend to STAY this way.  And that by NO means makes me UNsuccessful.  And who sets the "successful versus unsuccessful" standards anyhow?  Yeah, like, who gets THAT job??

I have two college degrees, both of which I paid for by myself, accummulating ZERO student loan debt.  I have traveled all over the world, with 10 years of active duty Army time under my belt.  I have ALWAYS paid my own bills, and I always will.  I have raised my boys alone, 365 days a year, 7 days a week, for 20 years of single parenting.  I didn't go out bar hopping on Friday nights, or have every boyfriend I ever dated spend the night.  I worked from home (total blessing from God), took my kids to school, and picked them up from school.  I brought them "mystery lunches" once a week, and saved and saved in order to take them on fun vacations.  I taught them to save their money and how to budget and not go into debt.  I taught them how to scrub toilets and wash floors.  

And before you go pointing out to me that I am pleasantly plump, let me assure you that each day, I get a glance or two at myself in the mirror and am far more aware of my physical short-comings than anyone else.  I DO exercise, but currently have a torn meniscus, thank you very much.  And let's talk age, shall we?  When I was the age of those pointing out my size, I was competitively Irish dancing.  Oh, and I was winning.  But I digress............  

I re-read this, and yes, it sounds a wee bit sarcastic perhaps.  I'm just flabbergasted at the audacity of people who open their mouths, revealing their hearts.  (Except for my sweet neighbor who is too young to know any better).  I sometimes wonder if people purposefully go out of their way to be hurtful.

So, let me tell you how I measure success........

We don't have a lot in comparison to many others.  We live in a condo in a neighborhood that is going downhill quickly.  It's not worth what I paid for it, and all of our good neighbors have left.  We have not lived an extravagant life, don't get to go on cruises or trips to Disneyland each year.  We drive cars until they drop dead.  We cut coupons.  Our towels are 20 years old.  Nothing (nothing) in my house has been updated, and there is a good chance that my furnace and air conditioner may go out any day now.  We cash in pop bottles to help with groceries, and we pretty much live paycheck to paycheck.  But God always has provided for us.  Always.  

My home is not perfect, I am not perfect, and things do not always go the way that I like them to.  But I trust that God knows far more than I do about the things that I need, and I know that He has better things planned for me than I could EVER dream.  So I trust Him.

And I chose to become single when I chose to get divorced, and I continue to choose to stay single today. Contrary to what others believe, that one must be married or be in a relationship in order to avoid loneliness, I am quite content.  In fact, I am more than content.  I stay busy with activities I enjoy and volunteer with causes I am passionate about.  These things bring me great pleasure!  God has blessed me with a purpose that is unique ONLY for me, and he does not require me to look a certain way, wear a particular brand of clothing, or have perfectly white teeth to participate in his plan.  He requires that my heart be fully surrendered to Him - that's all!  I fail at this often.  But He loves me anyways....

So, how is it that I can be happy despite the fact that I am single, must pay my own bills, and am pleasantly plump?  Well, HIS NAME IS JESUS!